1. Enid Eating Raw Turtle

Ever wonder why Enid is always in a terrible mood? If you guessed ‘because she’s a teenage girl,’ you’d be mostly right. If you guessed, ‘she’s a teenage girl whose parents were murdered and eaten in front of her which forced her to fend for herself in the most extreme ways until she found the Alexandria Safe-Zone,” you’d be dead on. ANYWAY, the image of Enid eating raw turtle out of the shell (gross) will be hard to shake for a few weeks. I guess you have to do whatever it takes to survive, but Jesus. Everyone hug their turtles a little tighter tonight.


2. The Wolves invading Alexandria

HOLY MOSES. Sometimes non-smokers have fantasies about smokers getting ripped apart by a guy with a machete, but it actually happened! And it wasn’t just smokers, the Wolves tried to kill EVERYBODY. What was their motive? Did they want to actually live there or just prove Thomas Hobbes’ State of Nature theory from The Leviathan?? (shout out to Political Theory majors). Also, can we all agree the security in Alexandria is awful? Like as porous at Seattle’s offensive line. Here are some examples: Eugene allowed a truck full of strangers (as far as he knew) into the community, Enid, a child, is able to jump back and forth over the walls literally whenever she wants, and now the the most dangerous group they’ve ever encountered just…walked in? Who’s the lookout, for God’s sake?


3. Carol killing her friend

OK, maybe Carol and her neighbor weren’t actually friends. But Carol WAS gabbing with her and other members of an inevitable book club about recipes and passive aggressive smoking advice in the beginning of the episode. YOU’VE SHOT KIDS IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEADS, CAROL. Either way, cancel the book club because gabbing just turned into stabbing and Carol got to witness each of them get murdered one by one by the Wolves. And yes, Carol took one of them out after seeing she has a 0% chance of living (probably). Was she putting her out of her misery or going full Rick and shutting her up before she could attract more danger? Probably both.


4. The Horn Not Being Intentional

Cliffhanger: ANSWERED. The horn that blared at the end of the premiere episode that drew walkers far and wide to Alexandria DID belong to one of The Wolves but it WASN’T on purpose. Specifically, the truck crashed into Alexandria’s wall after Spencer FINALLY aimed properly and killed the driver. Unfortunately for Spencer, the guy died on the horn switch (rats!). Good lord these people have the worst luck.


5. Carol Going Full Hitman

No Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Glenn, Abraham, or Sasha? NO PROBLEM. Not only does Carol take matters into her own hands, she goes full Hitman and murders a bunch of Wolves, takes their clothes, paints a bloody W on her forehead, and takes out the majority of the rest INCOGNITO. Not only that, she also chains Morgan up as her pretend prisoner to sell it even more!


6. Morgan Refusing to Kill Murderers

WE GET IT, Morgan. You’ve been through a lot and you don’t want to transform into a killing machine because the apocalypse has numbed you from real emotion. But knowing this show, playing the moral compass doesn’t get you very far (see: Andrea, Dale, T-Dog, Hershel, Reg, etc). But look, the town’s getting overrun with people literally murdering everyone in sight. Do you really think you have time to sit each of them down and explain the difference between right and wrong? One of them even told you “We don’t have a choice.” See! He’s making this whole killing them thing easier. Oh well, it’s still cool to see him go


7. Denise trying and failing at reviving Holly

What’s up, doc? Now that Pete’s gone, former psychologist and Med School attendee (not graduate) Denise Cloyd has come to the rescue! Props to her for Katnissing the position, but this job is WAY over her head. When an injured Holly is brought to her infirmary she nearly throws up her hands and gives up. But with the confidence of Tara and Eugene, she actually tries reviving her. Unfortunately for Holly, Denise never completed proper med school or played operation and Holly dies (sorry, comic fans). Points for trying!


8. Carl Saving Ron’s Life

I’m no mathematician but I believe this is the SECOND episode in a row where Ron is being chased/almost killed by walkers and SECOND time someone from Rick’s team saves him. How does he repay Carl? He SCOFFS and runs off like the ungrateful teenager he is (because he thinks Enid has a thing with Carl). Whatever, dude. That’s the last time you get saved, bro (third time’s the charm, right?).


9. Jessie Brutally Stabbing a Wolf

Unlike the other Alexandrians, Jessie is tough. How tough? Well, try surprising her in her kitchen and threaten to kill her family. Jessie grabs some scissors and goes full Travis Manawa (yeah, I made a Fear TWD reference) on one of the Wolves. Of course, Ron is there to watch how someone ACTUALLY deals with someone trying to kill them. She didn’t scoff and run away like a third grader, Ron!


10. Aaron discovering he’s to blame

We all drop things sometimes! Whether it’s our phones or keys, it can happen to anyone. Unfortunately for Aaron, it came in the form of maps and pictures of Alexandria that he dropped outside the walls…leading the Wolves DIRECTLY to them to go on an all-you-can-murder spree. Whoops!